November 18, 2011

Hanging Christmas Lights Outside

Woohoo! Deck the Halls and Trim the Hedge, Thanksgiving is almost over! Which means it's time to start thinking about Christmas (unless you're like my wife and put up the tree two weeks ago. In that case, I guess this post is a little late)! Time to bust out the old Carpenter's tapes and egg nog because it's Christmas time.

Guide to Hanging Outdoor Christmas Lights

Men, this is the year you are going to go all out with the lights. The last few years have been a disappointment but this year you're going to put your whole heart and soul into decorating the outside of your house. Yes, that means you need to find one of those great big air powered snow men to put on your front yard for the whole world to see [just how insane you are].

Start with the basics

Here's a little checklist for ya.
  1. Trim the hedges. Don't cut your fingers off, like I did. You want those lights to shine for a million miles and they're not going to get very far if you've got a big nasty shrub blocking the view!
  2. Get rid of the leaves already! You don't want to make Frosty stand on a dirty, crunchy, and eventually soggy lawn, now do you? No. Rake, blow, or recycle those leaves or there will be heck to pay! Do it, and do it now! Poor Frosty.
  3. Clean the Windows. You heard me.
  4. Clean the rain gutters. While you're up there, you might as well make yourself useful and get rid of all the nasty gunk in your gutters. It's really not that hard. It's not worth paying someone else to do it either, so Cowboy-Up! Or, if you have a son, make him do it. Cleaning out rain gutters builds character.

What You Will Need

Remember, it's cold out there. Aside from a nice warm coat and maybe some fur gloves(artificial, of course) certain materials will make hanging Christmas lights a joyful experience.
  1. Outdoor Extension Cords. Not to be confused with indoor extension cords.
  2. Timer. One of these days I am going to design a sprinkler control device that controls your water sprinklers during the spring, summer, and fall AND your Christmas lights during the winter. It will be revolutionary. So watch for that. It will probably be holographic and will be able to dispense Hot Cocoa and presents on command.
    But for now, you will want to get yourself one of those cheap little timers. You can find them at Wal Mart.
  3. Sturdy Ladder. Or I guess a step stool would work.
  4. Maybe some of those clips that clip onto your rain gutters that make for an easy Christmas Light Hanging Experience! :) [thumbs up!]
If you're still a little nervous, read up on more tips for hanging outdoor Christmas lights.

Good Luck

Research has shown that you are 8 million times more likely to fall and break your neck hanging outdoor Christmas lights than you are winning the lottery. What does that tell you?


Phil Goold is a retired landscaper of 30 years. He loves being outside more than anything else, except maybe pie. He enjoys connecting with other landscapers and gardeners because everyone brings something new and fun to the table. Connect with Phil on Twitter and Google+.

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